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Highly Unmotivated

I just don’t want to do anything today. Or all week for that matter. I’m fed up, and am getting that crawling, fizzing, annoyed-at-the-world feeling buzzing in my soul. 

I ran a mile the other night around the park up the street from me. Furthest I’d ever run without stopping. I should’ve been ecstatic, but with each lap there was a group of LATE teens EARLY 20 year olds cheering me on with 

HEY CHUB CHUB”

“RUN FATTY, RUN!”

and my personal favorite:

“HERE SHE COMES AGAIN, I CAN FEEL THE GROUND SHAKING”

Are you fucking serious?

So, needless to say I kept my mouth shut (I have to think about my nursing license now, assault and battery does not the Ohio Board of Nursing like……) After I finished my mile I quit and walked home, highly discouraged, disgusted and just ready to cry.

My husband is not the best at consoling, although he did say I should have whipped out a metal baton and ran after them screaming like a crazy person….. He initiated sex later that evening as a way to make me feel better, and I participated, but my head was not in it. I was too self-conscious and depressed. 

I wish I had the confidence to just walk up to the group of people and strike up a conversation, or just start laughing, “Haha yeah I am a bit chubby but you know what I JUST RAN A MILE. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WORTHWHILE LATELY???”

So yeah. Not motivated. And my son has a new card to play when I discipline him, he starts in with the “I’m so mean and I don’t love you, I want to live with my REAL mom etc. etc”

Which, I know I shouldn’t take personally, but I do. He has been spoken to numerous times about “filling my bucket” and how that is not nice or appropriate, how it is mean etc etc

“Oh he doesn’t know what he’s saying.”

Eh, Yeah. He does. He wants to hurt my feelings.

I don’t know. I’m just down and angry at the world. I just want to sleep. 

So, needless to say, I’ve only ran twice this week, and haven’t done any of my HIIT exercises. Maybe tomorrow…..

 

There have been victories this week though- we paid off our car, are buying kayaks tonight, I was offered a DAY SPOT at work when I graduate (!!!!!!!!) and I sternly voiced my dissatisfaction with the trash company about how I established pickup last Monday and have yet to receive my trash cans. When I was told I wouldn’t get the cans by tomorrow’s pickup day, I said that was completely unacceptable and asked to speak to the supervisor. I got a voicemail, and left her pretty much the same message. I didn’t think anything of it and was pretty sure I got the big “FU” from them in their office.

But when I got home, a new trash can and recycling can were sitting on our lawn.

 

BOO YAH.

So there are things to be positive about. I just have to remember:

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I will kick myself in the ass and get going on this. I will earn my body. I wish I could go up to those people in 6 months time and say something……

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That’s better.

My 101 in 1001 List

Today I didn’t do anything “fitness” related, sorry to say. 

I did, however, do some major gardening, so that kind of counts, right???

 

RIGHT??????????

 

Tomorrow I’m running again, and yoga-ing. And shredding, or whatever it is Jillian Michaels has me doing.

I also drank a crap ton of water today, which isn’t too difficult for me, given that I’ve been getting into the swing of this for a while. My problem is I prefer ice in my water, and we do not have an ice maker…. and the bag of ice in our freezer has freezer burned together into a giant iceberg… and I don’t own an ice pick.

I also, today, instead of studying for my Life Span final on WEDNESDAY (go me) came up with my own 101 GOALS in 1001 DAYS. Check out the page above ^ to keep tabs on me. 

Here is my list:

My 101 in 1001

Starting: May 7, 2013

Ending…… uh……. (carry the two……..) February 2, 2016

WHEW

I’ve seen a few of these 101 GOALS in 1001 DAYS, and decided  I was going to set myself up a list and see what happens…… The premise is, given 1001 days (roughly 2 and ¾ years) you can accomplish all 101 goals for yourself. The goals must be MEASURABLE and SPECIFIC (none of that ambiguous stuff) Also, 1001 days is a longer time span then 1 year, giving you “many seasons” to organize and plan for some of the biggies on the list…….

So here it goes…

  1. Lose 50 lbs (Currently 193.8 as of 5/7)
  2. Run a 5k
  3. Run 10 5ks
  4. Run a half marathon
  5. Run 5 half marathons
  6. Run a full marathon
  7. Run 3 full marathons
  8. Own a blogsite (www.radiantrunner.com)
  9. Obtain my RN
  10. Participate in a sprint Triathalon
  11. Organize a running group
  12. Get my husband to run a 5k with me
  13. Hold a gallery event for my photography
  14. Start a boudoir photography business!
  15. Laser Hair Removal
  16. Get 5 new tattoos
  17. Start a food canning group
  18. Paint a portrait
  19. Finish a crocheting project
  20. Shoot a deer with my bow
  21. Write and publish a short story
  22. Get to a “healthy” BMI (currently 33%)
  23. Learn how to use photoshop
  24. Learn how to play the harmonica
  25. Cook 30 meals with my pressure cooker
  26. Prepare a week’s worth of food on Sunday 15 times
  27. Sing at open mic night 1 time
  28. Go hiking in Colorado with our cousins
  29. Go hiking in North Carolina
  30. Complete Project 365
  31. Kayak around PIB in less than 2 hours (currently don’t know how long it takes, will try it once and revise this)
  32. Do yoga before and after work 50 times
  33. Be able to perform a side crow pose
  34. Do couple’s yoga with my husband 50 times
  35. Be able to perform the scorpion pose
  36. Eat drink 8oz of water 500 days
  37. Put away $5000 in savings  (~$75  a paycheck)
  38. Save up my spare change for 1001 days (We’ll see about this!!!)
  39. Learn how to Identify 15 constellations
  40. Get my CCW
  41. Get 100 followers on my blog
  42. Host 5 giveaways
  43. Try 30 different recipes/cook my way through a cookbook
  44. Make homemade whole wheat pasta
  45. Take a kick boxing class
  46. Take a boxing class
  47. Learn how to drive stick shift
  48. Have boudoir photos taken of myself and my husband
  49. Get an indoor biking platform
  50. Go rock climbing
  51. Take vitamins 365 times
  52. Make a recipe book/blog section
  53. Finish playing Skyrim
  54. Meet and run with one blogger
  55. Plant a garden for an elderly person
  56. Complete the MS Bike to the Bay
  57. Have a 6 month stockpile in my basement of food, toiletries and household items
  58. Finish the upstairs bathroom
  59. Update the kitchen
  60. Go on a date 20 times with just my hubby
  61. Take a ballroom dance class
  62. Make 20 DIY projects off pintrest (I am a firm believer nobody actually does any of the things they pin!)
  63. Learn how to make sushi
  64. Get a design for our wine
  65. Adopt a wild mustang
  66. See the wild ponies of Chincoteague Island
  67. Learn how to filet a fish
  68. Write out our wills
  69. Make soap
  70. Go maple-syruping (can’t remember what it’s called right now)
  71. Have my wisdom teeth removed (TERRIFIED)
  72. Make something to sell (and sell it!) on ETSY
  73. Learn how to hang10 on the IndoBoard
  74. Make cheese
  75. Do a detox cleanse
  76. Send out Homemade Christmas Cards (both years)
  77. Have a booth at a farmer’s market
  78. Get matching tattoos with my sisters
  79. Make a sundress
  80. Visit NYC with my cousins
  81. Have sex (at least) once a day for 30 days (5 times over) 😉
  82. Make 30 recipes from the Ball canning cookbook
  83. Kill an alligator (Or help my husband do it)
  84. Learn how to identify 15 trees by their leaves
  85. Become Scuba certified
  86. Skydive
  87. Go camping for a week with no amenities
  88. Floss my teeth daily for a month, 5 times over (AGAIN, I’ve got 2 and ¾ years people!) Let’s DO THIS
  89. Take a pole-dancing class
  90. Recycle weekly
  91. See the Northern Lights
  92. Do the Foodie Pen Pal Challenge each month
  93. Write Thank You Cards for all gifts etc. received
  94. Start a homemade dog treat business
  95. Take a cupcake decorating class
  96. Actually make it to Hocking Hills for our Anniversary (Or the Smokies, whichever)
  97. See Mumford and Sons, Tool and the Foo Fighters in concert if applicable
  98. Stop crossing my legs
  99. Have questionable moles removed
  100. Do a back bend/walk over
  101. Have sex in 15 public places

Wish me luck!!!

Hump Day

Today’s workouts:

20 V leg crunches (lower leg lifts)

20 isolated crunches

45min of yoga thanks to Sarah Beth Yoga on Youtube….

Including…..

Yoga for Hamstring Flexibility

Yoga for Stress or Anxiety Relief

Yoga to loosen the hips

Superstretch for low backs and hips

and the Mother of them all—–

Tabata workout for upper body strength…….

Check them out! I’m telling you, they’re relaxing and over before you know it. I feel great!

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But I’m sure I’ll be hobbling around the hospital tomorrow………

Anywhooo…….. Given the appropriate weather conditions, I think I’m going for a

RUN

tomorrow!!! It’s been 2 weeks, my knees feel great, and I was pranced around my basement earlier trying to figure out how to land on the balls of my feet and not my heel… 

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I am the former. I wish to be the latter. I will try it out tomorrow and see how it goes!!!

Till then………

Be good! Or just good at it.

Mon Day

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This was me this morning…

I set my alarm to get up with my husband at 5, had my yoga pants and tank top within arms’ length of the bed. I ended up hitting snooze a few times (Okay like 5) and just kind of rolled around the bed for another half an hour.

That counts as a morning yoga routine, right??

 

right………

 

So this evening after I put my wonderful child to bed….. (I got my first “I’M NOT YOUR SON!” tonight….. cue the warm fuzzies!)

I did 4 yoga videos from Sarah Beth Yoga on Youtube (She’s GREAT)

And….. 20 leg V lifts (I guess I’ll call them that?)

And 20 arms-over-the-head slow crunches.

Feel the burn!!! 

I do, I do!

My knees are feeling better still, I might be brazen enough to jog it out later this week or during the weekend…. oh I hope I hope I hope!

Oh I saw this earlier today and cannot for the LIFE of me find out where….. when I figure it out I will comment with credits- I love it. How positive!!!

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:}

And to end on a super positive note….. I only have 23 actual days of school left until I GRADUATE!!

YAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!! (June 18th is the big day!!!!!!!)

 

Have a wonderful evening everyone- when my husband gets home from a hard night’s work killing zombies we are going to watch 

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Mmmmm Sam Worthington…..

 

GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE! 

Shine on! Run Strong!

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