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Grumpy Cat Ain’t Got Sh*t on Me Today!

I apologize for the negativity in what you are about to read. I’m trying to be positive, you know, all “I am radiant there’s sunshine shooting out of every orifice teeheehee!” But today I am a dark rain cloud. Not a little black rain cloud, no no Pooh Bear, I’m a full-fledged F5 Tornado, hurling rusty farm machinery at Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton.

Image

Giving that cat a run for his money. Although I’m sure he would revel in my dilemma, the bastard

I totally jacked up my knees. Both of them. A Bilateral pile of horse shit. I blame my old shoes. I blame the economy. I blame nursing school. I blame myself for being stupid and cheap and trying to filch it until I can afford a nice pair of shoes. Bah. BAH! (shaking my fist at the universe)

As an almost nurse, we’ve been taught to instruct (“For we are nurses”,  my instructor says in a shrill voice, “we do not ENCOURAGE, we INSTRUCT!”) our patients to go to a physician to diagnose presenting ailments.

Cut to me feverously smashing away at the keys, googling my signs and symptoms.  Meniscus sprain? Tear? Obliteration? Runner’s Knee? Popliteal Deconglomeration? (okay I made that one up)

Basically I should go to a doctor and get a barrage of tests done to see what I did. I think I strained it. Sprain? Strain? I can’t remember the difference right now.  sTrain= Tendon. Is the meniscus a tendon? I think so.

RICE. No no not flied lice (tastes nice!!) Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevation. My anagram goes something like this though:

RAGE

IDIOT, (Stimpy you)

CRY (SOB, WAIL)

EVISCERATE (EVERYONE)

So I’m going to take a week off from my training (maybe more depending on the extent) And take it easy. I can hear my mother’s voice a mere month ago when I told her I was going to start running…

(Cue thick New York accent) “Sarah, don’t run, save your knees”   Yeah yeah whatever mom okay.

I’m waving at you right now mom. And smiling. (By waving I mean flipping the bird and by smiling I mean flipping the bird with my other hand) Love you mom. Mean it. (I really do love my mother she is amazing and, dare I say it, a bit clairvoyant?)

So in order for me to keep up with the wonderful progress I’d been making (that part wasn’t sarcasm, I’ve lost 5 pounds in 2 weeks from diet and exercise!) I’m going to have to do some low impact take-it-easy exercises, like yoga, ab and arm exercises and a lot of sex (so not low-impact)

grumble grumble grumble…….

Anyone have any setback stories to share to get my hopes up? Advice? Anything that doesn’t involve amputation and or bilateral knee replacements/ACL surgery. (I am a worst-case scenario thinker….)

 

 

 

 

 

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